Suicidal Sunflower - Shinsei Kamattechan (Shinitai Himawari / 死にたいひまわり)
Suicidal Sunflower - Shinsei Kamattechan (Shinitai Himawari / 死にたいひまわり)
楽しい過呼吸 泣かないでママ
貯まるゴミと食器と仲良く
成績下がってごめんね
首絞められてトイレで吐いたら
パパがママを思いっきりぶつ
ママは死ねと耳元で笑う
強力な痛み止めを飲んで
曇り空の公園へ行こうよ
ひまわりが咲いていくよ
頭をかち割ってほら
ひまわりが咲いていくよ
新しいあたし
葬式を開いて お別れの寄せ書き
嘘泣き芝居で 最後まで愛してねっ
ちょっとくたばります
クラスで醜い悪臭を放つ
みんなあたしが怖いんだってさ
目つきも態度も冷めてて
楽しく遊んでるから
パパがママを思いっきりぶつ
ママは死ねと耳元で笑う
強力な痛み止めを飲んで
いっそ家族全員で首吊りましょ
ひまわりが咲いていくよ
頭をかち割ってほら
ひまわりが咲いていくよ
新しいあたし
葬式を開いて お線香に消臭剤
嘘泣き芝居で 最後まで愛してねっ
ちょっとくたばります
発芽した枝に登ってサルから生まれ変われました
あの世は実在しました 呪いは実在しました
だから「あんたが死んでも誰も悲しまないよ」って聞こえるように
お墓に問いかけてください、ねえ
あたしの死にたいひまわり
あたしの死にたいひまわり
あたしの死にたいひまわり
あたしのさ、死にたいひまわり
みんなのママとパパも狂わせて
家庭を崩壊させてください
みんなが笑顔で生きたい世界があるから
とっても辛かったんだ
みんなも地獄に落とすから
tanoshii kakokyuu nakanaide mama
tamaru gomi to shokki to nakayoku
seiseki sagatte gomen ne
kubi shimerarete toire de haitara
papa ga mama wo omoikkiri butsu
mama wa shine to mimimoto de warau
kyouryoku na itamidome wo nonde
kumorizora no kouen e ikou yo
himawari ga saite iku yo
atama wo kachiwatte hora
himawari ga saite iku yo
atarashii atashi
soushiki wo hiraite owakare no yosegaki
usonaki shibai de saigo made aishite ne
chotto kutabarimasu
kurasu de minikui akushuu wo hanatsu
minna atashi ga kowain da tte sa
metsuki mo taido mo sametete
tanoshiku asonderu kara
papa ga mama wo omoikkiri butsu
mama wa shine to mimimoto de warau
kyouryoku na itamidome wo nonde
isso kazoku zeninde kubitsuri masho
himawari ga saite iku yo
atama wo kachiwatte hora
himawari ga saite iku yo
atarashii atashi
soushiki wo hiraite wo senkou ni shoushuuzai
usonaki shibai de saigo made aishite ne
chotto kutabarimasu
hatsuga shita eda ni nobotte saru kara umarekawaremashita
anoyo wa jitsuzai shimashita noroi wa jitsuzai shimashita
dakara “anta ga shindemo daremo kanashimanai yo” tte kikoeru you ni
ohaka ni toikakete kudasai, nee
atashi no shinitai himawari
atashi no shinitai himawari
atashi no shinitai himawari
atashi no sa, shinitai himawari
minna no mama to papa mo kuruwasete
katei wo houkai sasete kudasai
minna ga egao de ikitai sekai ga aru kara
tottemo tsurakattan da
minna mo jigoku ni otosu kara
A fun hyperventilation. Don’t cry, Mama.
Making friends with gathered garbage and tableware.
I’m sorry for letting my grades fall.
If I let my neck get strangled and throw up into the toilet…
Papa beats the shit out of Mama.
“Drop dead”, sneers Mama right by my ear.
I take a powerful painkiller.
Let’s go to a cloudy park.
Sunflowers are blooming.
Smash my head open, come on.
Sunflowers are blooming
Hold a funeral
for the new me. There’s a collection of written farewells.
With a stage play of fake tears, love me until the very end.
I’m a little exhausted.1
In class, I give off a disgraceful stench.
I hear that everyone is scared of me.
Both the look in my eyes and my demeanour are becoming cold,
because I’m having fun playing around.
Papa beats the shit out of Mama.
“Drop dead,” sneers Mama right by my ear.
I take a powerful painkiller.
Better yet, let’s just have this whole family hang themselves.
Sunflowers are blooming.
Smash my head open, come on.
Sunflowers are blooming
Hold a funeral
for the new me. With incense to deodorise.
With a stage play of fake tears, love me until the very end.
I’m a little exhausted.
Reborn from a monkey, I climb the sprouting branches.
The afterlife truly existed. Curses truly existed.
That’s why, so I can hear “no one will be sad when you die,”
Ask it to my grave, okay?
My suicidal sunflower,
My suicidal sunflower,
My suicidal sunflower.
You are mine, aren’t you? Suicidal sunflower,
Please drive everyone’s mamas and papas mad,
and let their households crumble.
Since there exists a world where everyone wants to live with a smile,
It was super painful.
Since everyone is gonna go to hell too.
Translation notes
1 The word used here for “exhausted”, くたばります, can also mean to drop dead in a derogatory sense.